You may notice changes in their mood, behavior, relationships, daily routines, or the way they talk about themselves and the future. Sometimes those changes are obvious. Other times, they’re subtle. Maybe they’ve stopped answering texts, don’t seem interested in things they usually enjoy, are sleeping much more than usual, or are making comments that leave you wondering whether they’re doing OK.
There isn’t one specific behavior that tells you someone is thinking about suicide. But recognizing possible suicide warning signs gives you an opportunity to check in rather than waiting until you’re certain something is wrong.
If someone you love has been struggling and you’re unsure what kind of mental health support they may need, start a conversation with Vitalize Behavioral Health.
What Changes Should You Look For When Someone Is Struggling With Suicidal Thoughts?
Suicidal thoughts don’t always look the way people expect. Someone may tell you directly that they want to die or don’t want to be here anymore. Other times, the signs can be less obvious.
Possible warning signs include:
- Talking about feeling hopeless, trapped, or like a burden
- Withdrawing from other people
- Giving away meaningful possessions
- Taking unusual risks
- Experiencing extreme mood swings
- Changing eating or sleeping habits
- Using alcohol or drugs more often.
Pay particular attention when a behavior is new, becoming more frequent, or noticeably different from the person’s usual behavior. Someone who normally talks to you every day might become increasingly isolated. A person struggling with depression may begin talking as though nothing will improve. Someone may start saying goodbye to people, getting their affairs in order, or giving away belongings that matter to them.
Comments such as “everyone would be better off without me,” “I can’t do this anymore,” or “there’s no point” also deserve attention. If what you’re seeing worries you, that’s reason enough to start a conversation.
How Do You Talk to Someone When You’re Worried They Might Be Thinking About Suicide?
It can feel frightening to ask someone you love if they’re thinking about suicide. It is natural to worry that saying the word out loud will make things worse or put the idea in their head. Research summarized by NIMH has found that asking someone directly about suicidal thoughts does not increase suicidal thoughts or behavior.
You don’t need to have the perfect opening. Find a quiet, private place and start with what you’ve noticed:
“You’ve seemed really overwhelmed lately, and I’m worried about you.”
Then ask clearly and calmly:
“Have you been thinking about suicide?”
Using the word suicide may feel uncomfortable, but being direct can make it easier for someone to be honest about what they’re going through. If they say yes, try to stay present and listen. You don’t need to fix everything in that moment or know exactly what to say next. Avoid arguing with their feelings, minimizing what they’re experiencing, or rushing to reassure them. Instead, let them know you’re glad they told you, that you care about them, and that you want to help them find support.NIMH recommends asking, being present, helping the person stay safe, connecting them with support, and continuing to check in afterward.
What If They Say They’re Fine?
Someone may not be ready to talk the first time you ask. You can let them know you’ve noticed a change, you’re available to listen, and you’ll continue checking in.
If you’re seeing significant suicide warning signs, however, you don’t have to dismiss your concerns because the person says they’re fine. A mental health professional or crisis resource can help you determine what to do next.
When Should a Family Start Looking for Professional Mental Health Support?
Don’t wait for a crisis to involve a mental health professional. If depression, anxiety, mood changes, isolation, or other symptoms are beginning to interfere with someone’s everyday life, an evaluation can help determine what kind of support may be appropriate.
For some people, outpatient therapy is enough. Someone experiencing more persistent or disruptive symptoms may benefit from a more structured level of care.
Vitalize Behavioral Health offers Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOP), Partial Hospitalization Programs (PHP), and outpatient services for teens and adults. Treatment may incorporate approaches such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), along with group support and psychiatric care when appropriate.
There’s no expectation that you’ll know which program is right for you before reaching out. An assessment can help determine what level of support makes sense.
What If You’re Worried Someone May Be in Immediate Danger?
There are times when the priority becomes keeping someone safe right now. If someone tells you they intend to kill themselves, NIMH recommends that you not leave them alone or promise to keep their suicidal thoughts secret. If there is an immediate life-threatening situation, call 911.
You can also call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 for 24/7 crisis support. You can contact 988 when you’re worried about someone else, too. Vitalize Behavioral Health provides outpatient mental health treatment and does not provide 24/7 emergency or crisis services.
Reaching Out Can Make a Difference
It can be hard to know how serious a change in someone you love really is. You may wonder whether you’re overreacting or whether bringing up suicide will make the conversation uncomfortable.
You don’t need proof to ask how someone is doing. Checking in gives them an opportunity to talk about what they’re experiencing. And if they need more support, you can help them connect with people who are equipped to provide it.
If you’re concerned about someone you love and aren’t sure what level of mental health care may be appropriate, contact Vitalize Behavioral Health to talk through the next step.
